I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
