when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
