Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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