I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
