My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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