Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
