spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize