It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize