I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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