I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
