you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
