just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
