your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
