thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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