Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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