Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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