and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize