maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize