Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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