dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
