oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
