dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
