She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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