you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.