Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
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You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
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Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.