I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
