If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
