I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
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Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.