I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
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He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
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btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".