It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?