dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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