OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
