I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
