If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize