we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
