Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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