There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
As shirtless as possible
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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