I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
