drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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