it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
jump out the window naked night went bad
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