I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The feeling are messing with the penis
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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