hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
