what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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