was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
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Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
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I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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