4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
