Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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