I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
