By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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