its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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