I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You can't special order awesome
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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