She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
