i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize