I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize