and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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