you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
