I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize