So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
