is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
