She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
