3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
