you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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