Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize