so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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