Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
