I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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