i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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