well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
