Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i now understand why vodka
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
