you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Two words: blizzard sex
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
